Groucho Marx

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as a member

I cannot say that I do not disagree with you

There is one way to find out if a man is honest... ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them, well, I have others.

Room service...? Send up a larger room.